I dont know why i get involve again into this blog matter. Knowing that im not a good writer and not a good story teller of my everyday life. D rin ako magaling sa english and sa grammar. Pero sadyang merong tumutulak sa akin na sumulat. Sabi nila, we have all the freedom to express ourselves. Kung saang malaya ka na maipahayag mo ng mabuti ang damdamin at sinasaisip sa ano mang wika ay huwag mong hayaan na pigilin ang sarili. Through writing, it helps you express what you wish to share to be understand by others and sometimes it plays a "healing" to the person who is exercising his freedom of expression through writing.
Simpleng tao lang ako. I am happy but i do feel sad sometimes. Im expressive but not all expressions you see are meant to be. Some people see me na happy go lucky ako, swerte sa buhay, walang problema, gimmik dito gimmik doon. Its nice to hear those comments, sound so positive. But in real, they dont know whats really going on inside of me. Its sad to be living alone, living away from my family. Financial support i receive from them isnt enough to make me happy (i dont give a damn with the money) or its simply dont complete me. Im longing for there presence, i miss them.
I face people i know with a pleasant look, as if walang problema. Happy face they see from me, i laugh with them, kulitan with friends, but deep inside im hurting. Ang bigat ng mundo para sa akin. I try and i struggle everyday to be positive but its hard to battle reality. I want to make things right, but sometimes it dont end up as to what i wish it should be. I had my way in doing right things, but there were some that hinders me in finishing right. I always left a FAILURE. Sometimes i try to deviate and do the wrong things, thinking that from it, i could claim VICTORY in the end, but wrong never be right. And i regret it.
I had so many mistakes in my life, countless. I dont deny it. But i also had so many struggles sa buhay na gumawa ng tama at ginawa ng tama, pero bakit im not glorious. Its not a feeling of envy to others who had find there own success and dreams in life, its just a question kung ano talaga mali sa akin, kung ano ang kulang na dapat punan. Honestly, sometimes i have this feeling of tension and fear inside of me when it comes to job application matter. I am Afraid of rejection. I already had enough, and i feel sorry for my soul. Its crashing my spirit. Sometimes i already doubt my competency and strength.
Its really hard to live alone with this kind of struggle. Doing right but still not enough. Trying the wrong leaves me finding myself sucked up by a quicksand. Help me Change. Its unbearable but im still fighting. God, i surrender it all to you!!! Im weak and weary, give me strength. Light me up.
Sorry, i know na medyo hindi detalyado or straight forward pa yung mga kinukwento ko, its just that im still not ready to open up fully. Maybe because of the wall that i subconsciously created to protect my spirit from wearing out. I will do my best to slowly uncover the real happenings in my life.
Im just overloaded now, i have a heavy heart. This is why im expressing it in here, to lighten up.
Simpleng tao lang ako. I am happy but i do feel sad sometimes. Im expressive but not all expressions you see are meant to be. Some people see me na happy go lucky ako, swerte sa buhay, walang problema, gimmik dito gimmik doon. Its nice to hear those comments, sound so positive. But in real, they dont know whats really going on inside of me. Its sad to be living alone, living away from my family. Financial support i receive from them isnt enough to make me happy (i dont give a damn with the money) or its simply dont complete me. Im longing for there presence, i miss them.
I face people i know with a pleasant look, as if walang problema. Happy face they see from me, i laugh with them, kulitan with friends, but deep inside im hurting. Ang bigat ng mundo para sa akin. I try and i struggle everyday to be positive but its hard to battle reality. I want to make things right, but sometimes it dont end up as to what i wish it should be. I had my way in doing right things, but there were some that hinders me in finishing right. I always left a FAILURE. Sometimes i try to deviate and do the wrong things, thinking that from it, i could claim VICTORY in the end, but wrong never be right. And i regret it.
I had so many mistakes in my life, countless. I dont deny it. But i also had so many struggles sa buhay na gumawa ng tama at ginawa ng tama, pero bakit im not glorious. Its not a feeling of envy to others who had find there own success and dreams in life, its just a question kung ano talaga mali sa akin, kung ano ang kulang na dapat punan. Honestly, sometimes i have this feeling of tension and fear inside of me when it comes to job application matter. I am Afraid of rejection. I already had enough, and i feel sorry for my soul. Its crashing my spirit. Sometimes i already doubt my competency and strength.
Its really hard to live alone with this kind of struggle. Doing right but still not enough. Trying the wrong leaves me finding myself sucked up by a quicksand. Help me Change. Its unbearable but im still fighting. God, i surrender it all to you!!! Im weak and weary, give me strength. Light me up.
Sorry, i know na medyo hindi detalyado or straight forward pa yung mga kinukwento ko, its just that im still not ready to open up fully. Maybe because of the wall that i subconsciously created to protect my spirit from wearing out. I will do my best to slowly uncover the real happenings in my life.
Im just overloaded now, i have a heavy heart. This is why im expressing it in here, to lighten up.
1 comment:
hindi kaya masyado kang nakafocus sa mga mali mo that you forgot you have your own strengths? why not try to write down all the good things about yourself... let's say 100 things... i think you are just used to trying to put down yourself that you forgot you are a good person with so many good qualities... wala lang... trip ko lang sabihin yan.
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